Finding Joy

take some time to enjoy this inspirational movie clip...
Simple Secrets to a Happy Life

Sold - Tess Stevens

When Tess was just eleven years old, her own mother sold her to a rich elderly man – Grace ran a brothel in Croydon and forced her young daughter into a terrifying world of sex and depravity.

Dangerous criminals visited the brothel every day and Tess was exposed to things no little girl should see. A timid child who longed for her mother's love, she grew up in a world of unimaginable horrors with no one to turn to. Her mother ensured that Tess followed her footsteps and she later opened a brothel herself – looking after her girls and running it as cleanly as she could.

Along the way she encountered some fascinating characters, including Christine Keeler, the Kray twins, Myra Hindley, and well-known actors and politicians.

Amazingly since the horrors of her past, Tess has turned her life around. This is a shocking and heart-wrenching insight into a criminal underworld and recovery from the ultimate betrayal.

~ an amazing and heart-wrenching read.

an eventful weekend

wat a weekend. i am now bloggin whilst lying in the comfort of my bed... all made possible with the purchase of my new netbook... its a local brand, AXIOO... the selling tagline of this netbook, PICO is small but powerful... i must say up till this moment it is living up to this selling point... with a massive 160 hdd, i hv no issues with downloading as many programs as i need to serve more than "just surfing the net" purpose. so i must say it is a good buy even though its slightly more pricey than some of the netbooks available in the market now.

and just this morning, i headed down to east coast park to have my first attempt at roller-blading! boy, what an experience. :) i must say it is fun, although falls are unavoidable and i think i must hv hurt my elbow whilst using it to break the fall... i bet tomorrow i will have body aches all over, but its still worth the try. and i must thank my cousin and her friends for their patience with this beginner who is still learning her baby steps. they were very encouraging and it really does help give that boost of confidence to continue learning. each time i fall, i believe its my next step towards success. as the chinese saying goes, "wan (4) shi (4) qi (3) bu (4) nan (2)... with determination and guidance, i believe i should be able to handle the blades better in no time.

tomorrow is the start of another work week, more project deadlines are screaming for attention. must buck up and get my lazy ass moving! hehe. and its gonna be officially sept, so that means i will be seeing my DIVA soon. Yay! thats something to look forward to. :)

Show Mi Again Live in Genting 2008 (26 & 27 Sept)

woohooo.... my DIVA is coming into town again... but this time not Singapore... am taking the coach ride up to Genting to catch her live performance. Yay!!!!

my best buddy manage to get us good seats within the VIP arena, 7th row from the stage, what more can we ask for. Haha. i'm getting excited just at the thought of seeing her again. She is AWESOME, and absolutely GORGEOUS.

so now, im hoping to brush up my photography skills and hopefully be able to get good pics of her performance, cos didnt manage to get any when she came to SG for her concert last year.

Thinking back, its been 11 years since you became the STAR of my world... Sammi, 加油， 永远支持你!

Keep the talK flowing

Any marriage counsellor can tell you the most common complaint they hear from wives is: “He doesn’t talk to me any more.”

When couples are dating they spend hours on the phone, talking and laughing together, completely losing track of time. But too often something happens just a couple of years into the marriage. They find themselves with nothing to talk about.

Communication is crucial to the success of a marriage, yet many guys are wired to keep to themselves.

It’s not that they’re bored with their spouse; they just don’t understand the importance of sharing their thoughts and feelings. If this describes your marriage, then do something about it.

Guys, make a concerted effort to talk to your wives. Talk about nothing or everything – it doesn’t really matter. The key is to start communicating again. And wives, find a way to draw your husbands out, even if it means talking about football or race cars.

Don’t let silence suffocate your marriage.

>> TODAY, Focus on the Family by Dr Bill Maier

June 30 ... from singlehood to being engaged

first of all, i will like to thank all da friends our loved ones who have given us their blessings and sending their well wishes when they got hold of the news of our engagement.

and everyone may ask, so how did he propose? and here goes the scenario...

it was our first night in melbourne, and we were just back in the hotel getting some rest after having did much walking around the city.... so one of the moments was as my baby was hugging me... he told me he loved me very very much, and asked me if i knew. as usual, my cheeky self will respond with "really?"... not the best answer to give to your partner, but well thats me for him. haha.

and with that, he said ... yes, and he proceeded to ask me to sit down on the bed. (to be completely honest, i wasnt expecting a proposal)... and when i was asked to open my eyes, there he was kneeling with one feet on the ground, holding the proposal ring in his hands, and popping THE question, "Will you marry me, baby?".... (do i have a reason to say no? of cos not)... and therefore the answer was, "yes of course i will"...

no drama mamas ... it was all over in a split second... and trust me, it still seems surreal to me that i am obviously engaged. although it is nothing like what one expect from the movies, with the spectacular background setting/fireworks, however the gesture is enough to move me to tears.

immediately thereafter, the funny moment was that sammy "informed" me although the ring is not expensive, however the diamond is real. :) its a very lovely ring, and i simply adore it. after all, its not about how "big" the diamond is, but about his commitment to our relationship when he decides to make this big move.

im glad though that he decided against the idea of proposing on the helicopter ride which we had intended as part of the itinerary... cos im not so sure if it will have been as romancing as how the movies depict the scenes to be...

no fancy deco, no fancy words... just my man with his sincerity and simple ring asking for my hand... i wouldnt have asked for more. till now, i still relieve the moment over and over again in my mind, and the question will often pop up: is this too real to be true?

right now, im just waiting for the ring to be fixed. hope the jeweller will come back from his leave soon, and i will be able to get it soon via DHL as my baby promises. till then, guess i will still have to get used to the fact that i am engaged. and that we should be in the process of planning for our Big Day soon... which will likely take place within the next couple of years.

so dont say i didnt warn u... better start saving up for my BIG ANG BAO! :D

in the class of strategic management...

strategic management - apparently aka the killer subject for last semester...

anyway just wanted to share this quote which our lecturer showed in his ppt slide (apparently its by a famous persona), and it read:

"Only the paranoid will survive"... which in Singlish terms mean "only the Kiasu will survive" > this of course relates to the world of corporate dealings...

with the workload thats beginning to pile up & increase by the day, i'm beginning to experience this statement before my very eyes... hahaha... well just gotta take the work load & studies one step at a time... and believe that God will lead me through all these... faith will keep me going. yeah.

The Effects Of Divorce On Children

Divorce carries lifelong negative implications for children. It’s now known that emotional development in children is directly related to the presence of warm, nurturing, sustained and continuous interaction with both parents. Anything that interferes withthe vital relationship with either parent can have lasting consequences for the child.

For example, one landmark study revealed that 90 per cent of children from divorced homes suffered from an acute sense of shock when the separation occurred; including profound grieving and irrational fears. Fifty per cent reported feeling rejected, and indeed half of the fathers never came to see their children three years after the divorce. One-third of the children feared abandonment by the remaining parent, and 66 per cent experienced yearning for the absent parent, with an intensity that researchers described as overwhelming.

Most significantly, 37 per cent of the children were even more unhappy and dissatisfied five years after the divorce than they had been at 18 months. In other words, time did not heal their wounds. That’s the real meaning of divorce. It is certainly what I think about with righteous indignation when I see infidelity and marital deceit portrayed on television as some kind of exciting game for two.

>> Mr James Dobson, Today Online

A Precious Moments Inspiration - THE BRICK

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no child appeared...instead, a brick smashed into the Jaguar's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jaguar back to the spot where the brick had been thrown.

The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"

The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," he pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.

"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message:

Don't go through life so fast that someone has

to throw a brick at you to get your attention.

God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts.

Sometimes when we don't have time to listen,

He has to throw a brick at us.

It's our choice to listen or not.

why is it that our beings are so frail and subjected to external influences this easily?

i certainly thought ive been doing very well thus far, (i.e. definitely after ive made up my mind to fly to GC in jun/jul).. however one simple remark, which is done out of concern, is enough to allow the suppressed fears / doubts to surface...

not sure how long i can deal with this emotional battle, sometimes i feel so tired... and wonder will giving it up makes life easier? then again, i reckon not.. it is only the loser's way of backing off eh. i rather love and risk the possibility of being hurt, than to give up a r/s thats certainly worth keeping.

i feel better now that ive rambled on the blog.. prob just nd an avenue to let it all out. happy thought to keep me going *15 more weeks to spending time with my baby* i cant wait, no matter how much it costs or takes, gonna make sure i'll be there.

Intimacy In Marriage

Imagine, if you will, two rowboats drifting
together on a choppy lake. A man sits in
one of them, and a woman rides in the other.
They have every intention of crossing the
lake together, side by side, because they
genuinely care about each other. But ever
so slowly, they begin to drift apart.

Each catches different currents and gusts of wind
that turn their little boats in opposite
directions, and before they know it, one
person sits at the north end of the lake, and
the other bobs along at the south.

They can hardly communicate with each other without
shouting from so great a distance. And by
that time, there are a number of little children
sitting in a third boat, little bewildered
children.

This is a dramatic analogy to the plight
of too many marriages today. Husbands
and wives begin their journey side by side,
with every intention of remaining together
for a lifetime. But the pressures of everyday
living turn them in their own directions and
toward their own pursuits, and away from
each other.

Unless a husband and wife are willing to row, to work together,
to talk through their difficulties and to compromise,
it's likely that they will not reach the far
side of the lake together. But it need not
happen. Their boats can remain side by
side, if each partner is simply willing to
row. Otherwise, the currents of culture will
separate them forever.

>> Article by Mr James Dobson

new beginnings

with barely 2 weeks to go, my baby will be leaving to pursue his dreams at australia... and it will be a new chapter for both of us in this relationship. much as i can't bear to see him leave, i can only pray and believe that we will be able to survive this long distance r/s. and without having my presence there, i oso pray that i will be able to continue to give him my support and trust.

lessons have also begun. yest was the first lecture on Leadership management. the lecturer was quite humourous, although sometimes the jokes he cracked are quite corny.. for a start, it seems that I am still able to handle and understand what is being taught. and also be able to relate it to my work environment. some of the similarities are simply uncanny. haha.

as for me being in a new team.. well, i guess the people around me would already have had enough procrastination from me. and im also at a point whereby i feel im complaining so much that it aint good for my health. so will take everything in my stride and hopefully am able to master that fcuked-up attitude which will then allow me to sail through the next 2 yrs peacefully.

Jan 2007 is already coming to an end soon; which reminds me that we should be getting our JLPT results soon. Hmmm, wonder if I will pass? Haha.

To Build A Fire

>> I couldn't have read this article at a better time. When you truly love a person, one should give him the trust and freedom that they need, in the hope that our partner do not abuse them. Then again, when one truly loves another, we should also know our own limits/ boundaries and stick to it; however strong the temptations are.

Jack London, in his wonderful short story
entitled To Build a Fire tells of a man caught
in a freezing blizzard. The temperature
dropped to 24 degrees Celsius below zero,
and he tried to build a fire to save his life.

He had only three matches, and the first two
were snuffed out by the wind. His life
depended on that one remaining match. He
managed to get a little fire going as he
cupped his hands, and he held his breath.

Just as it looked like he would succeed,
some snow fell from a limb overhead and
snuffed out the flame. The man was doomed
to freeze to death in the arctic night.

You know, there?s a lesson in this story
that applies to romantic relationships.
Nothing will snuff out the flickering flame of
love more quickly than hovering too close
and trying too hard to make it burn. You see,
the bonding between two people occurs
best in an atmosphere of confidence and
freedom. Those who reveal their insecurities
and attempt to force themselves on their
lovers are putting everything on the line.

That?s like tossing snow on a tiny fire. How
can you turn it into a roaring furnace? By
giving it plenty of oxygen and trusting the
combustion of the fuel. Love, you see, must
be confident; it must be free; and it must be
voluntary.

Helping A Prickly Person

When you want to offer advice to a person
about a flaw or a shortcoming in his or her
character, it's best to do it the way
porcupines make love: very, very carefully.

It's often difficult to open the eyes of
friends or relatives to their own blind spots.
It's even more risky to discuss a mistake in
the way parenting responsibilities are being
handled. You're liable to get your ears
pinned back, even when your motives are
honourable and you have the other person's
interest at heart. Let me offer a suggestion
that may be helpful in handling this delicate
assignment.

The right to criticise must be
earned, even if the advice is constructive
and desperately needed. Before you're
entitled to meddle with another person's
self-esteem, you must first demonstrate your
respect for him as a person. You have to
invest some time and effort in his life in an
atmosphere of love and kindness, and human
warmth.

When a relationship of confidence has
been carefully constructed, you'll have then
earned the right to discuss a potentially
threatening topic. Once motives have been
clarified, you can then feed your suggestions
and criticism in very small doses. But as
you do it, it's wise to keep one other thing
in mind: someone, somewhere, would like
to straighten out a few of your flaws too.

By Dr James Dobson

LOVING TOUGHNESS

Whether you need to heal a troubled
marriage or maintain a healthy relationship,
my recommendation is an attitude called
"loving toughness".

The best way to keep a marriage healthy
is to maintain a system of mutual
accountability within the context of love -
in other words, to carefully protect the line
of respect between a husband and wife.

Let me give you a personal example.
Suppose I work in my office two hours longer
than usual on a particular night knowing
that my wife is preparing a special
candlelight dinner. If I don't call to let her
know I'll be late, you can be sure I'll hear
from her when I get home.

Shirley would see my behaviour as
insulting - and she'd be right. She'd say in
effect, "Jim, what you did was selfish and
I can't let it pass." In those few words, she
would have spoken her mind in love, held
me accountable, and then we could move
on together.

In a healthy marriage, some things are
worth defending, and mutual respect is at
the top of the list. I'm not talking about
nagging, insulting or publicly embarrassing
your mate, but a workable system of "checks
and balances" can help keep your marriage
on course.

This kind of mutual accountability
is the best way I know to avoid an
unexpected explosion when stored
resentment and anger reach a critical mass.

By Dr James Dobson

recap

For the last 3 weeks, I had been dealing with much emotional upheaval; which suddenly struck me that this may be the cause of the sudden bout of gastritis that I am having now... but being me, I'm striving to be as positive as I can be... even though its tough work... I know I will be able to survive with the love and concern from all the friends around me.

I am kinda excited too, at the thought of returning to school as a part-time student pursuing my degree. After many years of procrastination, and even abandonment of the thought of ever having this certification, I have just submitted my application at SIM for the Degree of Bachelor in Business Management, majoring in (you wouldn't believe this) but yes, Human Resources.
Haha.

To me, the path of pursuing higher education is really to enrich myself and gain greater knowledge (of course, all the better if it could help me get a higher salary, lol)... and therefore, I have left the choice of the major to my cousin to decide. Having my cuz with me to pursue the degree will be a great motivational factor, as she will ensure that I don't slack (well, at least not
all the time) and that hopefully, we'll both be able to graduate in glory come 2008.

Of cos, the fact that Sam would be leaving for Australia next Feb to pursue his dream education has also greatly contributed to the above. Rather than having to "wait in vain", I might as well make full use of the time available and do something fruitful for myself. We will both then be busy, and hopefully, I won't have the energy or time to worry / think unduly.

And this leads me to think of my job. I'm already thinking that if my application is being approved, I would have to stay on in the MIS department to allow myself the flexibility and time to study. But ain't sure if my boss will agree to this, for this is not what I have told him in the first place. Granted that there are absolutely no benefits for them to let me stay on in the department for 1.5yrs, and having me transferred out to another dept eventually, I reckoned I will just put forth the proposition, and leave the final decision to him and the management.

Do understand that it's selfish of me to only stay on because I have to manage my studies, but I know I will have to sacrifice more if I were to go back to Projects during this period of time
cos I've been through it once and didn't survive even the 1st semester at school. :P

Life's generally the same... apart from the new interest in going JB for shopping (hee, one do save quite a bit)... and o my Japanese lessons are coming to an end soon. *sad* And it will be the JLPT thereafter... no surprise that I'm not at all prepared for it. Hahaha. Nevertheless, will still give it my best shot, and pray that miracles do happen. The only regret is that I won't be able to continue the higher level lessons immediately as I had planned, so will pursue this interest of mine, after I have obtained my "si fang mao". :) 请为我一起加油吧！

FREEDOM AND RESPECT

Someone said that if you love something
greatly set it free. If it comes back to you,
it?s yours for life. If it doesn't come back, it
never was yours in the first place.

When it comes to romantic relationships,
some individuals become so highly motivated
to find someone to love that they begin to
violate well-known principles of freedom
and respect in human interactions. That's
like turning a fire hose on a flickering
flame.

I heard about one young man who was
determined to win the affection of a girl who
refused to even see him. He decided that
the way to her heart was through the mail,
so he began writing her a love letter every
day.

When she didn't respond, he increased
his output to three notes every 24 hours.
In all, he wrote her more than 700 letters
and as a result, she married the postman.

That's the way the system works. Appearing
too anxious and too available actually drives
other people away rather than attracting
them into a committed relationship.

Romantic love is one of those rare human
endeavours that succeed best when it
requires the least effort. And remember that
respect precedes love, and that relationships
are constantly being tested by cautious
lovers who like to nibble at the bait before
swallowing the hook.

By Dr James Dobson

the mid-autumn festival week

the haze is getting so bad in singapore... im starting to wonder if face masks will soon be required when you have to travel outdoors. i can already feel the air choking my air passage and not allowing me to breathe properly. it sux. have to literally shut out my windows before i can continue with my beauty sleep.

yest was the annual mid-autumn festival. here's some pics taken at Chinatown:

i think my hand was shaky....

display 01: pelican
display 02: beetlebugs

display 03: peacock

display 04: the butterfly

display 05: the peacock at its best

gtg. running late for my pri sch friend's gathering with 2 teachers!! hmm, im so excited and yet afraid of how it will turn out, as we have a few new classmates joinin us this time round. praying that it will be smooth, with as little awkwardness as possible. hope my fone will do the job well in capturing these moments for me later. to be continued. ciao~

THE NO-KNOCK POLICY

Article from Today

-- felt that this is something we can all learn from...

We've been talking these last few days about those youngsters who need a little help in
coping with peer pressure and rejection.

These are the boys and girls who are just a little different, physically or emotionally,
which places them at risk for problems with low self-esteem. Another suggestion for
parents is that they teach their kids what I call a "no-knock" policy. One of the common
characteristics of a person who feels inadequate is that he or she talks about it to
anyone who will listen.

An overweight man, for example, feels that he ought to apologise to his friends for ordering a hot fudge sundae. "I'm fat enough without eating this," he says.

Or a woman who thinks she's unintelligent will admit freely, "Oh, I'm really bad at math. You know, I can't even add two and two."

Now, this kind of self-criticism isn't as uncommon as we might think.

You might even be surprised by how often you tell your friends about your own faults and while you're babbling about all your inadequacies, the listener is formulating impressions of you.

After all, you're the expert on that subject. If you think you're a loser, then others are going to tend to see you that way.

You can help your child understand this simple principle. Teach him or her to accept blame and criticism when it's valid, but not to continually talk about embarrassing flaws and failures. If your kids learn to respect themselves, others will tend to be more respectful, too. It's called a "no-knock" policy.

a pain in the a**

wat is it about people/families getting together to chill and do absurd or silly stuff that they probably hasn't done in a long time that's boring? i mean don't we all just want to have some fun and the purpose of it all is to enjoy the moment and bond with everyone else which is so hard to come by these days with everyone's heads being buried in work.

and yet, each time we have a gathering with my cousins, im starting to hope that someone's partner will not be present. truth is, she's starting to irk us with her too chatty behaviour and whenever she's with the bunch of us, we become "BORING" folks, who does nothing but childish & silly acts that she has done in sec sch days.

cmon man... doing all these stuff is just to relieve the good ol days... even though we've grown old doesnt mean we have to behave like some blockhead eh? and the worst of it all, dont pretend to have the interest to come when you do not have the intention at all. we wish our cousin will join us without ur presence, but that is so "never" gonna happen... so dont give us
empty promises... and den as the hrs passed, give us some lame shit excuses that you guys are being caught up with something and thus couldn't make it eventually.

one day, i will get this into her brain: this is the way we are, and this is what we will be. if u dont like being with us, just shut the f*** up, and live with it. we will not change, and we certainly dont give a shit about u nor ur opinions.