The Effects Of Divorce On Children

Divorce carries lifelong negative implications for children. It’s now known that emotional development in children is directly related to the presence of warm, nurturing, sustained and continuous interaction with both parents. Anything that interferes withthe vital relationship with either parent can have lasting consequences for the child.

For example, one landmark study revealed that 90 per cent of children from divorced homes suffered from an acute sense of shock when the separation occurred; including profound grieving and irrational fears. Fifty per cent reported feeling rejected, and indeed half of the fathers never came to see their children three years after the divorce. One-third of the children feared abandonment by the remaining parent, and 66 per cent experienced yearning for the absent parent, with an intensity that researchers described as overwhelming.

Most significantly, 37 per cent of the children were even more unhappy and dissatisfied five years after the divorce than they had been at 18 months. In other words, time did not heal their wounds. That’s the real meaning of divorce. It is certainly what I think about with righteous indignation when I see infidelity and marital deceit portrayed on television as some kind of exciting game for two.

>> Mr James Dobson, Today Online

A Precious Moments Inspiration - THE BRICK

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no child appeared...instead, a brick smashed into the Jaguar's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jaguar back to the spot where the brick had been thrown.

The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"

The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," he pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.

"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message:

Don't go through life so fast that someone has

to throw a brick at you to get your attention.

God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts.

Sometimes when we don't have time to listen,

He has to throw a brick at us.

It's our choice to listen or not.

why is it that our beings are so frail and subjected to external influences this easily?

i certainly thought ive been doing very well thus far, (i.e. definitely after ive made up my mind to fly to GC in jun/jul).. however one simple remark, which is done out of concern, is enough to allow the suppressed fears / doubts to surface...

not sure how long i can deal with this emotional battle, sometimes i feel so tired... and wonder will giving it up makes life easier? then again, i reckon not.. it is only the loser's way of backing off eh. i rather love and risk the possibility of being hurt, than to give up a r/s thats certainly worth keeping.

i feel better now that ive rambled on the blog.. prob just nd an avenue to let it all out. happy thought to keep me going *15 more weeks to spending time with my baby* i cant wait, no matter how much it costs or takes, gonna make sure i'll be there.