You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!
What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
Sunday, November 16, 2003
14th November marks the 1st month anniversary of my relationship with Sam. Though we had to go for a company bowling function before we can have the evening to ourselves, I was kinda glad it had turned out this way. As he was part of the SES bowling team, (and he bowled pretty well, i.e. *ahem* when im not around -.-!!), I reckon he did have fun and on my side, I spent my time chilling out with Karis and Kip and we even attempted the riding and Daytona racing games which we have not played for a long while.
The walk at the beach was really lovely (cos I haven't been there in abit, esp in the night) and romantic in its own way. From McDonald’s we walked all the way to the hawker centre, just to discover that its under renovation... so we carried on walking and came to this place (for lack of an appropriate word) where they served light snacks and drinks. They had seats that were very close to the sea, and we spent the next hr (or so) chilling out. Listening to the sound waves of the sea, gazing at the stars (however little), and most importantly, I have him with me on that night. Was really a lovely evening, although it may appear to be just another date.
Am also happy that Mark (my cuz) called me on that evening to kinda catch up and he's coming back for his hols next sat, and we'll be going on our China trip together. Thank goodness he's going, otherwise I'll really be quite lonely on the trip.
Today's my grandmom's bdae, going for lunchie at the Teppanyaki & Buffet Restaurant at United Square. Wonder if its good? Guess I’ll know soon, haha...
The walk at the beach was really lovely (cos I haven't been there in abit, esp in the night) and romantic in its own way. From McDonald’s we walked all the way to the hawker centre, just to discover that its under renovation... so we carried on walking and came to this place (for lack of an appropriate word) where they served light snacks and drinks. They had seats that were very close to the sea, and we spent the next hr (or so) chilling out. Listening to the sound waves of the sea, gazing at the stars (however little), and most importantly, I have him with me on that night. Was really a lovely evening, although it may appear to be just another date.
Am also happy that Mark (my cuz) called me on that evening to kinda catch up and he's coming back for his hols next sat, and we'll be going on our China trip together. Thank goodness he's going, otherwise I'll really be quite lonely on the trip.
Today's my grandmom's bdae, going for lunchie at the Teppanyaki & Buffet Restaurant at United Square. Wonder if its good? Guess I’ll know soon, haha...
Thursday, November 13, 2003
heard from vanessa that boon is shutting her out of her life too...sigh...i didnt want things to turn out this way. knowing her, she will just bury herself in work all day long. mayb getting everyone out of her life is just a way to get everything (that will remind her of me) out of her memory. =(
i dont blame her for doing this... for not wanting my friendship and not wanting me to be in her life at all... but it still hurts to know that she's torturing her own life like that. do hope she's still in contact with Helen though, at least that's the only person whom she will and can turn to in times like this.
really hope she gets moving on soon....praying that her life will be better than before.
i dont blame her for doing this... for not wanting my friendship and not wanting me to be in her life at all... but it still hurts to know that she's torturing her own life like that. do hope she's still in contact with Helen though, at least that's the only person whom she will and can turn to in times like this.
really hope she gets moving on soon....praying that her life will be better than before.
Friday, November 07, 2003
Dedicated to my dear....though i know you've sang this to me before. Thanks for being there for me, thanks for being a part of me. Cant imagine life without you now. Love ya!
Corrinne May - If you didn't love me
If every drop of water disappeared from the land
And every drop of ocean suddenly turned to sand
That would all be nothing
Compared to what I'd feel
If you didn't love me
What if I woke up and couldn't hear a sound
And all that I could see was darkness all around
That would all be nothing
Compared to what I'd feel
If you didn't love me
If I could have the world and all that money could buy
And I could travel far beyond the moon and the day
If they gave me golden wings,
well I still couldn't fly
without you, nothing would matter
You and I walk beside each other day after day
But there's so much inside me, I never get to say
My life would be so empty
with nothing left to feel
If you didn't love me
If you didn't love me
Corrinne May - If you didn't love me
If every drop of water disappeared from the land
And every drop of ocean suddenly turned to sand
That would all be nothing
Compared to what I'd feel
If you didn't love me
What if I woke up and couldn't hear a sound
And all that I could see was darkness all around
That would all be nothing
Compared to what I'd feel
If you didn't love me
If I could have the world and all that money could buy
And I could travel far beyond the moon and the day
If they gave me golden wings,
well I still couldn't fly
without you, nothing would matter
You and I walk beside each other day after day
But there's so much inside me, I never get to say
My life would be so empty
with nothing left to feel
If you didn't love me
If you didn't love me
Thursday, November 06, 2003
thanks to my beloved bf, im hooked onto this anime "love hina"...hahahaha, super funny jap anime....and while searching through the website for their stuff, i came across this quiz....and this is my test results:-
You're responsible, sweet, gentle and lovable! You have a loving heart, a great respect for all creatures (human, great and small), and the ability to see the thing that makes each individual special. However, you tend to overlook the things that make you special, and thus, putting you in a position to be pushed around by others. Take some time everyday to reflect on your qualities, and see that you don't have to please everyone and still be loved for who you are. Which Love Hina Girl Are You?
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
The Story of the Flower
This is one way that we can perceive a relationship to be like. Hope you will be able to agree with me. Imagine that there is a thick jungle with trees that shoots to the infinite skies above, bushes so thick that you’ll never know what is beyond those bushes till you seek forth to find out. Many dangers lurk before you in your quest of finding a way out of this mass dense vegetation. You try your best to survive by looking out for fruits that are infested with ants or insects to prove it being edible. You hunt for shelter to brace through the storms of the night. But then, you begin to think to yourself in the stillness of the cold dark night, remembering the sole reason why you are in the jungle in the first place; you have lost your precious flower due to certain unforeseen circumstances and now, you are desperately seeking it, hoping that in this dense, unfamiliar jungle, God will hear your earnest plea to find that lost flower. The flower you have lost is one of which its one in its kind, thorn-free, smooth silky petals and a scent that mesmerizes your soul.
You search and search desperately throughout your life- however long it may seem to you, to find this flower that you eventually lose track of how time had flew and most importantly, how deep you have gone into the jungle. In heaven, God hears your earnest screams for hope and gives you 3 flowers along the way. The weirdest part would be that you keep seeing these 3 flowers when you are still looking for your precious flower. One day, you decided to take a look at those flowers; unknowing that God was the one who placed it there. The first one that you see is one of pink dots scattered all around its petals making it look poisonous and ugly (something like the Rafflesia) and thick, long thorns are piercing out of its stem. You try to see something beautiful out of it, but eventually told yourself that this flower was a far cry when compared to the one that you have lost. You walked further down the path that you’ve created in your mind after staying so long in the jungle. From afar, you spotted the second flower. From a distance, you noticed that the flower has not bloomed and it has a pale yellow colour to it making it look unique. Its petals are smooth and spotless. You decided to approach it and as soon as you reach a good distance to see it in clear view, you turn away in disgust as you soon found out that there are little thorns by the side of its stem. Once again, you start comparing your precious flower to the second flower, thinking, “My flower is flawless and it is without thorns, but this has. My precious flower is still the most perfect in the world. I shall seek it back whatever the cost.”
You turn away from the second flower and proceeded to finding the last flower just by the natural landscaped waterfall. You know of the waterfall’s location as you normally drink and bathe in its spring, but you do not remember seeing a flower. As you near the falls, you hear the serene sound of the water making contact with each other as the lake transcends to the bottom of the fall. You close your eyes to take in the beautiful sounds and thought to yourself that this would be the place appreciate God’s creations should you find your precious flower. As you open your eyes, you see the third flower sitting by the water side. The “background” seems to compliment the beauty of the flower as it is sways to its side every time splashes of water gently hit the stalk. You take a deep breath before moving towards it as if enjoying the works of God. Its light red petals were smooth and delicate and like the second flower, it is still young in its bud. It was beautiful no doubt. But when your eyes traveled lower to its stem, you realized that there are little thorns, though not that noticeable in certain angles, which were sticking out making it look cautious of its surroundings. You soon start to compare again. Then you look into the towering trees above you, closing your eyes, you begin to pray. “Lord, I asked you for hope that you will help me find my precious flower but instead, you gave me three flowers that I may learn to appreciate, however, I cannot bring myself to love them; they are all different from the flower I miss so dearly. (You begin to shed a tear.) I just want MY flower back. In Jesus name I pray. A-men.”
You continue to look at every corner of the jungle for your flower but sadly, to no avail. You soon grew tired and weary and you soon realized that you need to move on with life and let go of what has been lost. You need to find a way out of this jungle. It was as you are finding the way out; you stumbled on the first flower again. Seeing it, you quickly turn away and continued walking due to disgust and pity. The second flower soon caught your eye. Though pleasing to the eye from afar, you turn your head to look away as you closed it on it when saw its little thorns once again. Still at this moment, you could not let go of what has been lost. Soon, you found yourself walking towards the way of the third flower and wondered if you should be walking that way. You took the risk of a possible dead-end and proceeded towards the third flower… You moved closer to view God’s awesome creation one last time. Thinking to yourself, since you could not find your flower, you cannot go back empty handed and decided to take the third flower from its “home”. As you pluck the flower out from its “home”, the waterfall stopped its flow, allowing a cave to become visible to you. You were taken aback for a while, but decided to move towards the cave knowing already in your heart that the cave was the exit. The exit of all the trails and tribulations you had gone through in the jungle when you were seeking your precious flower. A new life would begin with your new flower as you near the light at the end of the cavern. You know it in your heart and mind and you learn to embrace it with courage and faith.
You brought it home and though it was not by the water-side, you realized that this flower was beautiful as well, with or without the serenity of the environment. You took time to root it to a pot, gave it good fertilizers and plant nutrients. You watered it everyday to keep it healthy. But one day, you got pricked by one of its little thorns and you started scolding the flower. Hurtful words came out that day and you caught yourself scolding the flower for doing something that was not deliberate. At night as you were falling asleep, you looked at your pricked finger and began thinking why you were so angry. You knew that it had thorns and yet you plucked it from its home. You soon realized that you have forgotten about the old precious flower while you were busy taking care of the new flower. You have accepted the flower from the moment you took it back home. And so, you grew to love the flower for what it is, whether it has thorns or not. That love you have for the present flower comes from your heart and not its attraction or beauty or what it can do for you.
In the same way when we put our lives into the picture I’ve painted for you, you’ll see that this picture paints what we really are as humans. The jungle and its quest to find our flower is the ones that we hold dear so much that we let go due to certain reasons. We go around finding back our love ones that we lose track of ourselves. Soon, we’re lost in that obsession. Then God shows us beautiful people along the way but we shut them out as we keep comparing them to the one we HAD. Soon, we learn that it is useless holding on to the past and decide to move towards the future. But along the way, we meet these people again. But you’re hurt and decide to keep your distance. But then you find the last flower at the right place, at the right time and by that time, your heart has healed from its sorrow. You decide to give it a try and then realize she/he is different, unique, and beautiful in his /her own special, unfamiliar way. You spend more time into understanding this new relationship and grew fonder in feelings towards the other party. But when he/she pricks you- arguments, quarrels and fights, you say hurtful things which sometimes you do not mean. But one should learn to understand each other for who they really are and learn to compromise with their flaws. In the end, you’ll love each other for what you are and what God has created out of you. Nobody is perfect in this world and each of us has our own flaws. The only way out of the jungle is to accept others for who they really are. We are like the third flower. All of us are beautiful, but our flaws are our thorns which prick others. My advice to all of you, AVOID THE THORNS BY UNDERSTANDING YOUR PARTNER FOR WHO THEY ARE. In the end, you will not get pricked. “We’re not in this world to live up to other people’s expectations and they are not here to live up to our’s.”
Samuel Abraham Ong
20/10/2003
^^ he wrote this for me, was touched so deeply that my tears just rolled down whilst i was reading on the train.
You search and search desperately throughout your life- however long it may seem to you, to find this flower that you eventually lose track of how time had flew and most importantly, how deep you have gone into the jungle. In heaven, God hears your earnest screams for hope and gives you 3 flowers along the way. The weirdest part would be that you keep seeing these 3 flowers when you are still looking for your precious flower. One day, you decided to take a look at those flowers; unknowing that God was the one who placed it there. The first one that you see is one of pink dots scattered all around its petals making it look poisonous and ugly (something like the Rafflesia) and thick, long thorns are piercing out of its stem. You try to see something beautiful out of it, but eventually told yourself that this flower was a far cry when compared to the one that you have lost. You walked further down the path that you’ve created in your mind after staying so long in the jungle. From afar, you spotted the second flower. From a distance, you noticed that the flower has not bloomed and it has a pale yellow colour to it making it look unique. Its petals are smooth and spotless. You decided to approach it and as soon as you reach a good distance to see it in clear view, you turn away in disgust as you soon found out that there are little thorns by the side of its stem. Once again, you start comparing your precious flower to the second flower, thinking, “My flower is flawless and it is without thorns, but this has. My precious flower is still the most perfect in the world. I shall seek it back whatever the cost.”
You turn away from the second flower and proceeded to finding the last flower just by the natural landscaped waterfall. You know of the waterfall’s location as you normally drink and bathe in its spring, but you do not remember seeing a flower. As you near the falls, you hear the serene sound of the water making contact with each other as the lake transcends to the bottom of the fall. You close your eyes to take in the beautiful sounds and thought to yourself that this would be the place appreciate God’s creations should you find your precious flower. As you open your eyes, you see the third flower sitting by the water side. The “background” seems to compliment the beauty of the flower as it is sways to its side every time splashes of water gently hit the stalk. You take a deep breath before moving towards it as if enjoying the works of God. Its light red petals were smooth and delicate and like the second flower, it is still young in its bud. It was beautiful no doubt. But when your eyes traveled lower to its stem, you realized that there are little thorns, though not that noticeable in certain angles, which were sticking out making it look cautious of its surroundings. You soon start to compare again. Then you look into the towering trees above you, closing your eyes, you begin to pray. “Lord, I asked you for hope that you will help me find my precious flower but instead, you gave me three flowers that I may learn to appreciate, however, I cannot bring myself to love them; they are all different from the flower I miss so dearly. (You begin to shed a tear.) I just want MY flower back. In Jesus name I pray. A-men.”
You continue to look at every corner of the jungle for your flower but sadly, to no avail. You soon grew tired and weary and you soon realized that you need to move on with life and let go of what has been lost. You need to find a way out of this jungle. It was as you are finding the way out; you stumbled on the first flower again. Seeing it, you quickly turn away and continued walking due to disgust and pity. The second flower soon caught your eye. Though pleasing to the eye from afar, you turn your head to look away as you closed it on it when saw its little thorns once again. Still at this moment, you could not let go of what has been lost. Soon, you found yourself walking towards the way of the third flower and wondered if you should be walking that way. You took the risk of a possible dead-end and proceeded towards the third flower… You moved closer to view God’s awesome creation one last time. Thinking to yourself, since you could not find your flower, you cannot go back empty handed and decided to take the third flower from its “home”. As you pluck the flower out from its “home”, the waterfall stopped its flow, allowing a cave to become visible to you. You were taken aback for a while, but decided to move towards the cave knowing already in your heart that the cave was the exit. The exit of all the trails and tribulations you had gone through in the jungle when you were seeking your precious flower. A new life would begin with your new flower as you near the light at the end of the cavern. You know it in your heart and mind and you learn to embrace it with courage and faith.
You brought it home and though it was not by the water-side, you realized that this flower was beautiful as well, with or without the serenity of the environment. You took time to root it to a pot, gave it good fertilizers and plant nutrients. You watered it everyday to keep it healthy. But one day, you got pricked by one of its little thorns and you started scolding the flower. Hurtful words came out that day and you caught yourself scolding the flower for doing something that was not deliberate. At night as you were falling asleep, you looked at your pricked finger and began thinking why you were so angry. You knew that it had thorns and yet you plucked it from its home. You soon realized that you have forgotten about the old precious flower while you were busy taking care of the new flower. You have accepted the flower from the moment you took it back home. And so, you grew to love the flower for what it is, whether it has thorns or not. That love you have for the present flower comes from your heart and not its attraction or beauty or what it can do for you.
In the same way when we put our lives into the picture I’ve painted for you, you’ll see that this picture paints what we really are as humans. The jungle and its quest to find our flower is the ones that we hold dear so much that we let go due to certain reasons. We go around finding back our love ones that we lose track of ourselves. Soon, we’re lost in that obsession. Then God shows us beautiful people along the way but we shut them out as we keep comparing them to the one we HAD. Soon, we learn that it is useless holding on to the past and decide to move towards the future. But along the way, we meet these people again. But you’re hurt and decide to keep your distance. But then you find the last flower at the right place, at the right time and by that time, your heart has healed from its sorrow. You decide to give it a try and then realize she/he is different, unique, and beautiful in his /her own special, unfamiliar way. You spend more time into understanding this new relationship and grew fonder in feelings towards the other party. But when he/she pricks you- arguments, quarrels and fights, you say hurtful things which sometimes you do not mean. But one should learn to understand each other for who they really are and learn to compromise with their flaws. In the end, you’ll love each other for what you are and what God has created out of you. Nobody is perfect in this world and each of us has our own flaws. The only way out of the jungle is to accept others for who they really are. We are like the third flower. All of us are beautiful, but our flaws are our thorns which prick others. My advice to all of you, AVOID THE THORNS BY UNDERSTANDING YOUR PARTNER FOR WHO THEY ARE. In the end, you will not get pricked. “We’re not in this world to live up to other people’s expectations and they are not here to live up to our’s.”
Samuel Abraham Ong
20/10/2003
^^ he wrote this for me, was touched so deeply that my tears just rolled down whilst i was reading on the train.
Our song:-
The Greatest Story Ever Told
Thank you for this moment
I gotta say how beautiful you are
Of all the hopes and dreams I could have prayed for
Here you are
If I could have one dance forever
I would take you by the hand
Tonight it’s you and I together
I'm so glad I'm your man
And if I lived a thousand years you know
I’d never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you to night
I don’t hear the music when I’m looking in you eyes
But I feel the rhythm of your body close to mine
It’s the way we talk that’s sends me
It’s the way we’ll always be here
Your kiss your pretty smile you know I die for
Oh baby you're all I need
And if I lived a thousand years you know
I’d never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you just how much I really need you
Did I tell you that I love you tonight
Tonight
And if I lived a thousand years you know
I’d never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you just how much I really need you
Did I tell you that I love you tonight
The Greatest Story Ever Told
Thank you for this moment
I gotta say how beautiful you are
Of all the hopes and dreams I could have prayed for
Here you are
If I could have one dance forever
I would take you by the hand
Tonight it’s you and I together
I'm so glad I'm your man
And if I lived a thousand years you know
I’d never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you to night
I don’t hear the music when I’m looking in you eyes
But I feel the rhythm of your body close to mine
It’s the way we talk that’s sends me
It’s the way we’ll always be here
Your kiss your pretty smile you know I die for
Oh baby you're all I need
And if I lived a thousand years you know
I’d never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you just how much I really need you
Did I tell you that I love you tonight
Tonight
And if I lived a thousand years you know
I’d never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you just how much I really need you
Did I tell you that I love you tonight
Monday, November 03, 2003
Hehehe *grins sheepishly* its really been a looooooong while since ive wrote my blog =P too lazy...hahaha...
Hmm...so whats new in life? I fell in love all over again, totally hopeless in love and smitten with a guy named Samuel who's (up-to-date) been an absolutely lovely and wonderful bf. Pampering me like his princess, showering me with his love, what more can I ask for? Got to know him through friendster, went out a couple of times, and voila! We found ourselves attracted to each other.
Just went on a trip to KL with my darling...been a trip full of fun and laughter, one that I'll certainly remember...though we may have differences, but I hope the day will never come when we have to go our separate ways, cos I cant imagine life without him now. He's really my soulmate, my confidante, my friend, always there for me to tease at, crack silly jokes, have fun...love him with all my heart, love him to bits!!!! Just simply adore him, hah!
And as for work, I am certainly moving on soon...May Ling (my boss) is gonna talk to our executive director tomorrow, and im dreading the moment that they're going to call me into the room and start dissuading me from leaving. =| its hard to leave SES, very hard indeed, cos I have built my comfortable lil "house" here with a bunch of loving friends and colleagues. But we'll have to go our own ways one day don't we? No matter how hard it is for me to leave, it is a decision I have to make and live with. True friends will still remain true wherever we are and I know Kip, Jeanette, Karis, Delaine (although we aint that close), Albert, May Ling and David will always remain close to my heart. Thanks to this bunch of close-knitted friends in my circle that I had a wonderful time in SES, for pulling me through some of the worst times of my life and always there for me when I needed them.
Hmm...so whats new in life? I fell in love all over again, totally hopeless in love and smitten with a guy named Samuel who's (up-to-date) been an absolutely lovely and wonderful bf. Pampering me like his princess, showering me with his love, what more can I ask for? Got to know him through friendster, went out a couple of times, and voila! We found ourselves attracted to each other.
Just went on a trip to KL with my darling...been a trip full of fun and laughter, one that I'll certainly remember...though we may have differences, but I hope the day will never come when we have to go our separate ways, cos I cant imagine life without him now. He's really my soulmate, my confidante, my friend, always there for me to tease at, crack silly jokes, have fun...love him with all my heart, love him to bits!!!! Just simply adore him, hah!
And as for work, I am certainly moving on soon...May Ling (my boss) is gonna talk to our executive director tomorrow, and im dreading the moment that they're going to call me into the room and start dissuading me from leaving. =| its hard to leave SES, very hard indeed, cos I have built my comfortable lil "house" here with a bunch of loving friends and colleagues. But we'll have to go our own ways one day don't we? No matter how hard it is for me to leave, it is a decision I have to make and live with. True friends will still remain true wherever we are and I know Kip, Jeanette, Karis, Delaine (although we aint that close), Albert, May Ling and David will always remain close to my heart. Thanks to this bunch of close-knitted friends in my circle that I had a wonderful time in SES, for pulling me through some of the worst times of my life and always there for me when I needed them.
Sunday, August 24, 2003
Wow, finally time to sit down and continue writing.
Dinner with mum and her friend was good (and I believe my attitude towards the man has changed quite significantly for the sake of my mum), I hope they felt it. *chuckles*
In case you are wondering, my dad has passed away so I'm hoping my mum will eventually find another soul mate to accompany her for the rest of her life.
Once again, my colleagues made my birthday a memorable one! Its really sweet of them, and I would like to give my heartfelt thanks to each and everyone of them for their wishes and of cos, their contributions to eventually a new phone (I got a mobile phone voucher for my birthday pressie). I took some photos with the colleagues that are closer to me too =P, be posting them up soon. It's a pity Kippy wasn't around but we'll have our shots soon huh.
While spending most of my time on irc, I met my online friend Dizzy today. Although I know he will leave this world eventually (Dizzy's suffering from cancer, brain tumour), he told me he felt his days are coming to an end. I was dumbfounded and at a loss for words because he's been such a great online friend. We attempted to voice-chat and although I had many problems with Yahoo, he did not give up trying. Though it was a short chat (with lotsa problems), I was glad we gave it a shot. I made him laugh with my stupidity, and it feels so good just to hear his laughter.
Dizzy has a great voice, and he was trying hard to sound as lively for me as possible, because the drugs are taking their effects, he gets tired real easily. He had to go to bed after his morphine shots, and I hope this will not be the last I see of him. I would know I have lost this friend of mine to the battle, when I do not see his nick online anymore.
Life's certainly full of up and downs, I am trying to live a happier life now but unhappy incidents seems to come one after another though, or its simply just me to worry about everything under the sky.
My only console comes from James and the friends that I have around me. But alas, James is so far away and what he said today brought me back to reality and indeed hurt me quite abit. I loved him and the thought of not being there for him in real life is just as torturing for me. The thought of not being able to be there for him when he's sick, or to share his woes when he's down, is simply pure torture.
In James's words, I have lost track of what real love is anymore, so I don't really know how to. You can say you love me all you want, but fact of matter is, your not here, and that is definitely a killer. I am single, cause I have this notion in my head we will meet.
That hurts, way too much or maybe I am being over-sensitive. I mean it each time I say I love him, and that is the only way I can show how much I do care for this long distance online (unreal some pple call it) relationship. I would have done anything to fly over to Florida and visit him, but it now leads me to think whether I am being under realistic about it. I feel so attached to him right now, perhaps its time I learn how to curb my feelings towards this relationship too?
Dinner with mum and her friend was good (and I believe my attitude towards the man has changed quite significantly for the sake of my mum), I hope they felt it. *chuckles*
In case you are wondering, my dad has passed away so I'm hoping my mum will eventually find another soul mate to accompany her for the rest of her life.
Once again, my colleagues made my birthday a memorable one! Its really sweet of them, and I would like to give my heartfelt thanks to each and everyone of them for their wishes and of cos, their contributions to eventually a new phone (I got a mobile phone voucher for my birthday pressie). I took some photos with the colleagues that are closer to me too =P, be posting them up soon. It's a pity Kippy wasn't around but we'll have our shots soon huh.
While spending most of my time on irc, I met my online friend Dizzy today. Although I know he will leave this world eventually (Dizzy's suffering from cancer, brain tumour), he told me he felt his days are coming to an end. I was dumbfounded and at a loss for words because he's been such a great online friend. We attempted to voice-chat and although I had many problems with Yahoo, he did not give up trying. Though it was a short chat (with lotsa problems), I was glad we gave it a shot. I made him laugh with my stupidity, and it feels so good just to hear his laughter.
Dizzy has a great voice, and he was trying hard to sound as lively for me as possible, because the drugs are taking their effects, he gets tired real easily. He had to go to bed after his morphine shots, and I hope this will not be the last I see of him. I would know I have lost this friend of mine to the battle, when I do not see his nick online anymore.
Life's certainly full of up and downs, I am trying to live a happier life now but unhappy incidents seems to come one after another though, or its simply just me to worry about everything under the sky.
My only console comes from James and the friends that I have around me. But alas, James is so far away and what he said today brought me back to reality and indeed hurt me quite abit. I loved him and the thought of not being there for him in real life is just as torturing for me. The thought of not being able to be there for him when he's sick, or to share his woes when he's down, is simply pure torture.
In James's words, I have lost track of what real love is anymore, so I don't really know how to. You can say you love me all you want, but fact of matter is, your not here, and that is definitely a killer. I am single, cause I have this notion in my head we will meet.
That hurts, way too much or maybe I am being over-sensitive. I mean it each time I say I love him, and that is the only way I can show how much I do care for this long distance online (unreal some pple call it) relationship. I would have done anything to fly over to Florida and visit him, but it now leads me to think whether I am being under realistic about it. I feel so attached to him right now, perhaps its time I learn how to curb my feelings towards this relationship too?
Thursday, August 21, 2003
Monday, August 18, 2003
Life has really been "interesting" for me over the past week, with too much happening all at once and too little time for me to digest all thats happened.
David, my boss of 3 years, has decided to move on. I must say, I am really fortunate to have him with me for the last 3 years as he has become a friend and a listener whom I can confide all my problems to. I still remember the days when I had problems with my then-bf, he would just listen, offer me tissue, and lend a helping hand with no questions asked.
Without him, I would not have stayed with this company for this long. Now that he's going, I have no idea how to face the road ahead. I've broke down and I feel silly but yet at the same time, helpless. All these days, I have been telling myself to "grow-up" and face it, bcos life goes on, alas its always easier to say than to have it done. Whatever it is, I truly send all my best wishes to David, and may the next endeavour be the best to come yet.
His wife just gave birth to a baby boy too. They named him Ethan. He's such a handsome lil baby boy, with the hair of David Beckam (wow!) --> click on pictures to see the lil dearie =). My dear friend is such a happy daddy now, the smiles written all over his face when he sees his precious son and I guess thats the joy you get when you are with your most loved and treasured ones. Am sure baby Ethan will bring to them more happiness and fond memories as they grow hand-in-hand.
My blessings to you David, Liyan and Ethan. May the new life at Dubai open up a whole new world for you, and am sure the Lord will be with you all, always. Lord Bless!
David, my boss of 3 years, has decided to move on. I must say, I am really fortunate to have him with me for the last 3 years as he has become a friend and a listener whom I can confide all my problems to. I still remember the days when I had problems with my then-bf, he would just listen, offer me tissue, and lend a helping hand with no questions asked.
Without him, I would not have stayed with this company for this long. Now that he's going, I have no idea how to face the road ahead. I've broke down and I feel silly but yet at the same time, helpless. All these days, I have been telling myself to "grow-up" and face it, bcos life goes on, alas its always easier to say than to have it done. Whatever it is, I truly send all my best wishes to David, and may the next endeavour be the best to come yet.
His wife just gave birth to a baby boy too. They named him Ethan. He's such a handsome lil baby boy, with the hair of David Beckam (wow!) --> click on pictures to see the lil dearie =). My dear friend is such a happy daddy now, the smiles written all over his face when he sees his precious son and I guess thats the joy you get when you are with your most loved and treasured ones. Am sure baby Ethan will bring to them more happiness and fond memories as they grow hand-in-hand.
My blessings to you David, Liyan and Ethan. May the new life at Dubai open up a whole new world for you, and am sure the Lord will be with you all, always. Lord Bless!
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