This is one way that we can perceive a relationship to be like. Hope you will be able to agree with me. Imagine that there is a thick jungle with trees that shoots to the infinite skies above, bushes so thick that you’ll never know what is beyond those bushes till you seek forth to find out. Many dangers lurk before you in your quest of finding a way out of this mass dense vegetation. You try your best to survive by looking out for fruits that are infested with ants or insects to prove it being edible. You hunt for shelter to brace through the storms of the night. But then, you begin to think to yourself in the stillness of the cold dark night, remembering the sole reason why you are in the jungle in the first place; you have lost your precious flower due to certain unforeseen circumstances and now, you are desperately seeking it, hoping that in this dense, unfamiliar jungle, God will hear your earnest plea to find that lost flower. The flower you have lost is one of which its one in its kind, thorn-free, smooth silky petals and a scent that mesmerizes your soul.
You search and search desperately throughout your life- however long it may seem to you, to find this flower that you eventually lose track of how time had flew and most importantly, how deep you have gone into the jungle. In heaven, God hears your earnest screams for hope and gives you 3 flowers along the way. The weirdest part would be that you keep seeing these 3 flowers when you are still looking for your precious flower. One day, you decided to take a look at those flowers; unknowing that God was the one who placed it there. The first one that you see is one of pink dots scattered all around its petals making it look poisonous and ugly (something like the Rafflesia) and thick, long thorns are piercing out of its stem. You try to see something beautiful out of it, but eventually told yourself that this flower was a far cry when compared to the one that you have lost. You walked further down the path that you’ve created in your mind after staying so long in the jungle. From afar, you spotted the second flower. From a distance, you noticed that the flower has not bloomed and it has a pale yellow colour to it making it look unique. Its petals are smooth and spotless. You decided to approach it and as soon as you reach a good distance to see it in clear view, you turn away in disgust as you soon found out that there are little thorns by the side of its stem. Once again, you start comparing your precious flower to the second flower, thinking, “My flower is flawless and it is without thorns, but this has. My precious flower is still the most perfect in the world. I shall seek it back whatever the cost.”
You turn away from the second flower and proceeded to finding the last flower just by the natural landscaped waterfall. You know of the waterfall’s location as you normally drink and bathe in its spring, but you do not remember seeing a flower. As you near the falls, you hear the serene sound of the water making contact with each other as the lake transcends to the bottom of the fall. You close your eyes to take in the beautiful sounds and thought to yourself that this would be the place appreciate God’s creations should you find your precious flower. As you open your eyes, you see the third flower sitting by the water side. The “background” seems to compliment the beauty of the flower as it is sways to its side every time splashes of water gently hit the stalk. You take a deep breath before moving towards it as if enjoying the works of God. Its light red petals were smooth and delicate and like the second flower, it is still young in its bud. It was beautiful no doubt. But when your eyes traveled lower to its stem, you realized that there are little thorns, though not that noticeable in certain angles, which were sticking out making it look cautious of its surroundings. You soon start to compare again. Then you look into the towering trees above you, closing your eyes, you begin to pray. “Lord, I asked you for hope that you will help me find my precious flower but instead, you gave me three flowers that I may learn to appreciate, however, I cannot bring myself to love them; they are all different from the flower I miss so dearly. (You begin to shed a tear.) I just want MY flower back. In Jesus name I pray. A-men.”
You continue to look at every corner of the jungle for your flower but sadly, to no avail. You soon grew tired and weary and you soon realized that you need to move on with life and let go of what has been lost. You need to find a way out of this jungle. It was as you are finding the way out; you stumbled on the first flower again. Seeing it, you quickly turn away and continued walking due to disgust and pity. The second flower soon caught your eye. Though pleasing to the eye from afar, you turn your head to look away as you closed it on it when saw its little thorns once again. Still at this moment, you could not let go of what has been lost. Soon, you found yourself walking towards the way of the third flower and wondered if you should be walking that way. You took the risk of a possible dead-end and proceeded towards the third flower… You moved closer to view God’s awesome creation one last time. Thinking to yourself, since you could not find your flower, you cannot go back empty handed and decided to take the third flower from its “home”. As you pluck the flower out from its “home”, the waterfall stopped its flow, allowing a cave to become visible to you. You were taken aback for a while, but decided to move towards the cave knowing already in your heart that the cave was the exit. The exit of all the trails and tribulations you had gone through in the jungle when you were seeking your precious flower. A new life would begin with your new flower as you near the light at the end of the cavern. You know it in your heart and mind and you learn to embrace it with courage and faith.
You brought it home and though it was not by the water-side, you realized that this flower was beautiful as well, with or without the serenity of the environment. You took time to root it to a pot, gave it good fertilizers and plant nutrients. You watered it everyday to keep it healthy. But one day, you got pricked by one of its little thorns and you started scolding the flower. Hurtful words came out that day and you caught yourself scolding the flower for doing something that was not deliberate. At night as you were falling asleep, you looked at your pricked finger and began thinking why you were so angry. You knew that it had thorns and yet you plucked it from its home. You soon realized that you have forgotten about the old precious flower while you were busy taking care of the new flower. You have accepted the flower from the moment you took it back home. And so, you grew to love the flower for what it is, whether it has thorns or not. That love you have for the present flower comes from your heart and not its attraction or beauty or what it can do for you.
In the same way when we put our lives into the picture I’ve painted for you, you’ll see that this picture paints what we really are as humans. The jungle and its quest to find our flower is the ones that we hold dear so much that we let go due to certain reasons. We go around finding back our love ones that we lose track of ourselves. Soon, we’re lost in that obsession. Then God shows us beautiful people along the way but we shut them out as we keep comparing them to the one we HAD. Soon, we learn that it is useless holding on to the past and decide to move towards the future. But along the way, we meet these people again. But you’re hurt and decide to keep your distance. But then you find the last flower at the right place, at the right time and by that time, your heart has healed from its sorrow. You decide to give it a try and then realize she/he is different, unique, and beautiful in his /her own special, unfamiliar way. You spend more time into understanding this new relationship and grew fonder in feelings towards the other party. But when he/she pricks you- arguments, quarrels and fights, you say hurtful things which sometimes you do not mean. But one should learn to understand each other for who they really are and learn to compromise with their flaws. In the end, you’ll love each other for what you are and what God has created out of you. Nobody is perfect in this world and each of us has our own flaws. The only way out of the jungle is to accept others for who they really are. We are like the third flower. All of us are beautiful, but our flaws are our thorns which prick others. My advice to all of you, AVOID THE THORNS BY UNDERSTANDING YOUR PARTNER FOR WHO THEY ARE. In the end, you will not get pricked. “We’re not in this world to live up to other people’s expectations and they are not here to live up to our’s.”
Samuel Abraham Ong
20/10/2003
^^ he wrote this for me, was touched so deeply that my tears just rolled down whilst i was reading on the train.
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